Lia: 11 months

My darling girl,

Lately I often find myself reminiscing back to this time last year, trying to recollect what I was doing on the same day 365 days ago. I remembered distinctively that I was extremely busy at work trying to transition my work over to my temporary replacement so I could go on maternity leave. There was a lot of anticipation - for more time, for the finishing touches on your room, for your arrival. I was so sure that within two weeks of my leave, I would be able to meet you. Little did I know, you had other plans. Your due date came and went, and I thought my impatience would literally kill me. The good thing about babies is that, sooner or later, they have to come out, and out you came.

I remember the day you arrived. I still remember very distinctively how I felt, what I wore, but in particular, the million butterflies in my stomach and how they made me feel. The million scenarios I built in my head of our first meeting can never compare to the actual event. As soon as I laid my eyes on you, within a space of a nanosecond, I drank in the image of you and I was in love. You had dark eyes, not like your father whose eyes are blue. Your skin reminds me of the color of milk, unlike your father's or mine. It must be the combination of both. Your button nose is more like mine. Your eyebrows are the exact replica of your father's. Your mouth curves the way his does. You had 10 fingers and toes. Your wail was loud and healthy. Your matted hair dark like mine. You are a big girl. You are ours.

The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you I was meant to be your mama. For the first time in my life, I knew fear.

Fast forward to 11 months later, you went from a mere (not really) 8lbs 9oz to 25 lbs 8 oz. You are 31 inches tall. I can no longer hold you gracefully as your long limbs awkwardly dangle off of my body. At this point, I am constantly urging you to walk, for my physical well being as lugging you around really does start to take a toll on me. Like the way you came into the world, you are doing things on your own time. While you are capable of taking a few steps at a time, your preferred method of getting to your destination is still on all fours.

Summer is now officially upon us, and I spun big plans for us when the time brings with it hotter weather and a more matured and physically capable you. We go to the park, a lot, sometimes as a family, sometimes it's just us two. Either way, we have a good time.

We spend a lot of time in the pool, and you sure do love the water. There is very few things in life that make me as happy as water make you. It is a wonder to live through your eyes.

You are now a little person, no longer that little baby I held in my arms eleven months ago fully dependent on me. You have intention, you have opinions, you comprehend, you act with purpose. The time I have with you seems to have passed in an instant, yet it also feels like a lifetime all in one. If there is one piece of advice I can give you, it is to be present. Choose how you spend your time wisely and once that moment comes, be present in it.

I have always known that our time together will be fleeting, so in an effort to be more present with you, I have made the difficult decision of leaving my current job and took a different job that would allow me to be able spend more time with you. I hope to demonstrate and instill in you a fearlessness to take action to change the course of your life for the better when it is necessary.

There are times when your Daddy and I bear witness to and are amazed by your capabilities. We would sometimes individually and jokingly took sole credit for anything amazing that you do, but the reality of it is, we are certain that you are the product of the best parts of us, and all the extra are yours and yours alone. You are becoming a part of existence and the earth and its offsprings are better off from having been touched by you.

You are so loved.
Mama