Lia: month 9

My dear child,

Having you around always keeps Mama on her toes, not only physically but figuratively as well. I was really fortunate to have lived a rewarding life before you, to look back to that point and continue to believe that I have done everything I was meant to do and to be the exact person I was, all leading to prepare me to be a mother to you. I mean it, I believe it.

But no matter how rewarding it was, there were mundanes to that life. I constantly craved changes, and most often times, acted on those craving to lead me to a more fulfilled life. Fast forward to the present, it seems like I am constantly kept on my toes, because adjusting my life to the pace of your growth literally changes my mindset every other day.

My goodness, how fast you grow. You are now 24lbs, 29 inches with head circumference of 18 inches. As you grow, I grow. As you learn to stand, I am learning alongside you to take different stand against the world. I stand on a different ground with my new title as Mother. As you take your first step, I take my first step down a new path in my life.

I knew life with a baby would be different, that we would have to learn to let go of some of our stringent beliefs, to learn to live with a messier house, to learn to operate with much less sleep. I am also slowly learning the depth of motherhood, and I never expect the learning curve to continue to be so steep even with so much time already passed. While becoming a mother came naturally and instinctively, understanding the gift of that responsibility and depth of that joy is slow and purposeful. I am grateful everyday, to be able to experience what it feels like to love something the most, and how the act of giving that love to someone can make me so free.

My love, you are becoming your own person, demonstrating awareness of your environment and asserting your preferences. If you want to be held and we put you down, you make sure we understand you are not happy about that. If you don't want a toy and we force you to take it, you make sure that the moment it touches your hand is the moment it came flying to the nearest fragile object.

But my dear girl, no matter what frustration we deal with on a day to day basis, you are my favorite little person, and I enjoy every minute of time we have together. We are lucky to be witnesses to and receivers of your belly laughs, to be able to be present for the biggest and littlest milestones of your life and to be contributors in shaping the person you are becoming and will be forever.

Near the end of this month, you had family came from afar to meet you and be witness to your baptism. For most of them, this is the first time meeting you and they are all awed by you. You put on quite a show at a small, intimate ceremony as well as at the little get together at our home, surrounded by some very close family and friends. You have to understand, my love, that you are one well-loved child. And although you would not go near them in the beginning, you finally warmed up to them by the end of their visit, but you still made sure to let Mama know that you prefer me over any other person in the room. I guess it comes with the typical clingy, stranger-anxiety stage that you are going through right now. Mind as well, I do love to be with my girl.

You are one of my greatest source of happiness, and watching life through your eyes, as you continue to be amazed, moved, be delighted, makes me a better person than I could ever hope to be. You are my great inspiration, and nothing will ever be more important to me than your joy.

You are so loved,

Mama