accenting life: peaks and troughs

These days, our house at any moment in time, looks like it had gone to war and back. What once used to be an order of intentional placed and coordinated things are now replaced with a things of multitude of primary colors, all scattered across any surface that it finds itself. It is a freakin mess, and I don't even care.

The dynamic in our home had shifted a little bit lately. With two of us now working full-time demanding jobs, we are in the stage of our marriage and our homemaking where we are making do. We are literally doing whatever it takes to make it through, day by day, minute by minute, hour by hour.

With anything that spans across a long period of time such as that of a life, the economy, friendship, finances, whatever...there tends to be periods of peaks and troughs. During the peaks, there are resources and capabilities to think about long term goals and they all support the development of certain strategies to meet those goals. There are hopes and perspectives for the future. When the troughs hit, it is every man for himself, cutting back whatever it takes to ride out until the next peaks arrive, band-aiding whatever damage caused as a result of the battle. Our family is riding through a trough at the moment, and although the day to day can be difficult, the thing about troughs is that it will always be replaced by peaks.

So, while we are riding it out, we are seeing damages done and we are band-aiding. Our house is a mess, so we do just sufficient cleaning in order to live efficiently. We are racing against time, so we prioritize to spend the time we have with our child instead. Our marital relationship is suffering from the lack of time, but we faced it with an understanding that this is temporary and there is a mutual understanding to ride this out alongside each other, though each person is battling their own battle. This is temporary, it is unsustainable.

The wheel is spinning. The ball is rolling. The last couple of weeks, I have put into motion what needs to be done so that there can be more balance. All that is left is waiting, and the waiting is always the hardest part. In the mean time, I am enjoying my kid.

I am now at a point in my life where I want to tailor my actions to be more purposeful, to act with more intention. As life happens, I am becoming more aware of how much my actions can affect those around me, and more specifically, those I love. Frankly the best way to become aware is to be at the receiving end of the consequences of unawareness.

There are so many lessons I want to teach my kid, to influence her to be a good person, I fear that I might fail, because the road is long and the lessons are too voluminous to teach in one lifetime. But for now, I will teach her to be more present in her life, by practicing what I preach and being more present in hers. We will take walks, enjoy the parks, read the books, walk the beach, watch the sunsets, because at the end of the day when we lay down to sleep, we should be able to whisper to the heaven words of thanks for the day just passed and the presents of being present.